Heavy Heart - May 17, 2010

I can't believe it's been two months since Parker was born. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday...but it also feels like we've lived a lifetime since he was born. I have mixed emotions about March 17th. I am so GRATEFUL for the day Parker was brought into our lives- but it's also an extremely difficult day to look back on. I have never felt such panic, fear, exhaustion, desperation or pain in my life. The day started with the excitement of our new arrival and quickly turned into something I'd sometimes like to forget. I truly survived that day by the Grace of God- along with the support of Jeff and my family. I have spent today remembering his birthday- wishing I could look back on it fondly. Maybe today was a little tougher because Spencer's birthday is this weekend- and his birth was such a positive experience. But I was reminded by my sister that it's the day that we brought Parker home- HEALTHY -that I need to focus on and not the actual painful day of his birth. I give thanks every day for the GIFT we were given. So maybe we'll just celebrate Parker's birthday EVERY day! Isn't that only appropriate when given a MIRACLE?

Much love and continued thanks for your prayers and support!